Starting nursery or kindergarten is often the first time a child is separated from their parents—especially the mother—for an extended period of time. At the same time, it is also their first encounter with a larger group of unfamiliar people. This can often be a traumatic experience, both for the child and the parents, as it is filled with fear of separation and the efforts required for the child to adapt to the new situation.
With the arrival of a child into an educational group, their way of life changes. The child meets a group of peers, establishes social contacts, and develops communication with other children and educators.
Most children cry or protest in other ways, expressing their sadness over being separated from their parents. Children experience what is known as separation anxiety. They have difficulty understanding that their parents will return and often feel abandoned.
It is important for parents to understand that a small amount of separation anxiety is normal. This kind of behaviour actually shows that the child and parent have a strong and healthy bond—meaning they have developed a secure attachment.
How a child adapts depends on several factors:
- Individual characteristics
- Stage of development
- Age of the child
- The child’s health condition
- The family environment the child lives in
Children who have more difficulty adapting to a new environment include:
- Emotionally sensitive children
- Children who are dependent or egocentric
- Children who previously had negative experiences with separation from parents
Three main types of adaptation
There are three main types of adaptation:
- Easy adaptation
A normal reaction to a new environment in children who have grown up in optimal conditions and formed a secure and stable emotional bond with their parents. In such children, behavioural changes usually normalize within 10 to 15 days of attending nursery or kindergarten.
- Moderate adaptation
Behavioural changes last longer but stabilize within 30 days of starting nursery or kindergarten.
- Difficult adaptation
A prolonged and more challenging behavioural disorder that can last from 2 to 6 months. These children are often exposed to multiple unfavourable factors that extend the adaptation period—such as illness, negative family conditions, or inappropriate parenting styles.
A small amount of separation anxiety is normal and indicates a good and healthy relationship between a parent and a child. Most children adapt to the new environment and situation without major or long-lasting problems.
Some children react physiologically—refusing food, refusing to sleep, having digestive issues, or frequent illnesses—while others may react behaviourally through crying, aggression, or withdrawal.
One possible reaction is regression, which means the child may exhibit behaviours typical of an earlier developmental stage that had already been overcome (e.g., bedwetting, thumb-sucking, wanting a pacifier again, etc.).
All of these behaviours are normal during the adaptation phase. They decrease and disappear as the child adjusts to the environment and begins to form social and emotional relationships with the educator.
Most children go through the adaptation process without major behavioural disturbances, and only a small number experience more difficult forms of adaptation.
It is important to note that adaptation is not complete when the child stops crying, but when the child begins to spontaneously express their emotions, thoughts, and abilities. For this reason, special attention should be given to withdrawn children who do not show their own initiative. The reassuring news is that throughout the entire adaptation process, there are ways you can help your child adjust more easily to the new situation.
For any concerns you may have about your child’s adjustment to nursery or kindergarten, you can always talk to the teachers or the kindergarten’s professional support staff.
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